who will appologise for this ??

A silence that has no reasons now,what brought it,is aching my heart still,o almighty how ridiculous this life is,i don't get what you mean actually by evolving these webs of relations amongst the creatures of your house here on earth,why you play with our emotions,why you gave emotions rather,why love was created if it's end is never pleasing,why ? you could have done it other wise,what ailed you when you were doing this to us,senses fail to understand your acts,why we know and feel the meaning of emotions and relations,i am not sturdy enough to bear the pains of losing someone like this,maybe i sound a bit insane but i am not tender enough,why you take away things which become dear to us,which become a part of us?,when will you speak up ? ibelieve in your day of resurrection,but give me a promise you will let me meet and recognise the one i have lost 2 days back,you hurt me god,you really hurt me,so many words unspoken,so many stories untold,who will come to my help and when ?

instead of the sweet breeze ,blows a wind so full of gloom

gone are the days of cheer,came days of doom

paws of death have clutched me in,

my sight strives for life,galloping with darkness

none of the world is there to ask my mind

none of none is there to tell how long will i wait for the dawn of my night

just a companion,my heartbeat

which still screams for its desires

screams louder for meaning of living

meaning of eternity,meaning of death

you are a virtual cheat god

tell me where to complaint against you and to whom ???

why and who made you almighty when you can't even take care of your men @

you are not so godly as people believe

i am a rebel against your decisions now !!!

memories to cherish

THE BID-ADIEU

though a hectic and sweating schedule it was,it was never a burden on my spine,we had laughs we had fun,though a loner at heart i can say i enjoyed it,as i saw life with someone else's eyes,life is not just about good things,paasing time in coffee bars(which i often do),hanging around with pals,i can say i got an exposure not only on academic part,rathes moral,being an ethics capsule my visits to an asyllum in lucknow NUR MANZIL,SAMADHAN,CHESHIRE HOME,SAMARPAN,CHETNA,AND KGMU,i learnt there was no problem in my life,my pains seemed to be so small,there was a patient,with home i had developed a bonding,the reason being she was muslim(this is our speciality)maybe,i felt the grief inside here heart,a new bride left by husband forever just because she didn't give the desired co-operation...hell with that rascal,she has schizophrenia,doctors say,but i know she is very much fine,you almighty i will see you soon,i have to get some answers from you,she has everything,she saw me with hope,and me,standing still and so dum,helpless,i asked my self what can i do? thEre comes the PSYCHO,we shared something in common.that was,filling pages with ink to express our solitude to ourselves,so i asked her to forget everything and to start from now,she would write one poem a day,and would call me in the weekend,i should tell you even after we have ended our training in lucknow,i still visit her,for she means a lot more than a patient to me,she has taught me things i was unaware of,anyways i think i used my vactions to the best i would have,i pray for everyone's wellness,may he help us all.

something else that brought tears to my eyes was the send off i gave to my classmates,i am not that emotional but,as one of my classmate calls me BHAAIJAN i always treted her as a sister,the very day they were moving to ALIGARH,i invited them to my relative's place,and we had lunch together,they retired for a while and i went charbagh to give them a send off,though they all meant nothing but classmates just classmates,i had my eyes wet,i turned my face,standing inside that bus,she gave me her hand,i kept my hand on her head,she cried,human emotions...i guess,but i am no exception,i used to think otherwise earlier,one of my uncle,who happens to be father of my best friend told me,LIFE IS A CHALLENGE and nothing else everything else is wasteful,just take it up,if you have courage,and in this challenge emotions are mountains so hard to climb,i look forward to my workshop as a psychologist in NIMHANS BANGALORE,in july,but can't forget the days i had here in LUCKNOW,the city which gave me my important lessons of life,indeed,i miss it everytime i am away,and my soul breathes free,when i am in lucknow,another good reason- A SHI'ITE WOULD ALWAYS THINK LIKE THAT,hai na?

SUICIDAL TENDENCIES

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.
I don’t know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you’re reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.
I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won’t argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.
Well, you’re still reading, and that’s very good. I’d like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you’re at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let’s hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.
Start by considering this statement:
“Suicide is not chosen; it happenswhen pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.”
That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.
Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “that’s not enough to be suicidal about.” There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.
When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.
You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.
Now I want to tell you five things to think about.
1
You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.
2
Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, “I will wait 24 hours before I do anything.” Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it’s just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.
3
People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.
4
Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.
But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what’s going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:
Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans
Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S.
Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999
Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line
Call a psychotherapist
Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen
But don’t give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.
5
Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.
Well, it’s been a few minutes and you’re still with me. I’m really glad.
Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.
Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won’t be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It’s time to start looking around for one of them.
Now: I’d like you to call someone.
And while you’re at it, you can still stay with me for a bit. Check out these sources of online help.
Additional things to read at this site:
How serious is our condition? ...“he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious...” if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention... read this.
Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Recovery from grief and loss ...has anyone significant in your life recently died? You would be in good company... many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss.
The stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us... and that we ourselves add to. Stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings.
Resources about depression ...if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. This is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better.
Do you know someone who is suicidal... or would you like to be able to help, if the situation arises? Learn what to do, so that you can make the situation better, not worse.
Handling a call from a suicidal person ...a very helpful ten-point list that you can print out and keep near your phone or computer.
What can I do to help someone who may be suicidal? ...a helpful guide, includes Suicide Warning Signs.Other online sources of help:
The Samaritans - trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day to listen and provide emotional support. You can call a volunteer on the phone, or e-mail them. Confidential and non-judgmental. Short of writing to a psychotherapist, the best source of online help.
Talk to a therapist online - Read this page to find out how.
Depression support group online: Walkers in Darkness - Please note: this is a very big group, but amidst all the chatter (and occasional bickering), it is possible to find someone who will hear you and offer support.
Psych Central has a good listing of online resources for suicide and other mental health needs.
Still feel bad? These jokes might relieve the pressure for a minute or two.
If you want help finding a human being to talk with in person, who can help you live through this, try reading this article about how to Choose a Competent Counselor.
Sometimes people need additional private help before they are ready to talk with someone in person. Here are three books you could read on your own in private. I know from personal experience that each one has helped someone like you.

kabhi yun bhi to ho....

A GIANT LEAP

hum nur manzil ja rahe hain!!!

arre hairaan hone ki zarurat nahi hai,sirf training aur psychiatric patients ki dikkaton ko kareeb se jaannne samajhne ke liye,chaliye kuch aap bhi jaan lijiye,nur manzil ke aitbaar se,nur manzil,waqai mein noor bakhsh kothi hua karti thi nawabi daur mein,jab nawabi chali gayi to kothi kaise rehti so,Dr. E. Stanley Jones (1884-1973),ne ise kothi se aspataal bana diya wo bhi paagalon wala,aur ab ise Nur Manzil psychiatric centre kehte hain,haal hi mein isme kaafi badlaav hue hain,jisse is aspataal ki kaafi tarakki hui hai aur ye aaj ke daur ki haajatein poori karne laayak ban chuka hai,har aitbaar se nur manzil ek tasallibaksh aspataal hai jo nafsiyaati taur par kamzor aur beemaar logon ki madad ko khada hai,ise isaai missionaries govern karti hain,methodist hospital bhi kaha jata hai nur manzil ko,hum to bas yunhi chal diye hain,zra padhai ka masla hai,AMU ka ek daur wapas LUCKNOW mein,dilchsp lagta hai,hai naa?

filhaal mutawajjo hon is taraf,

attendance compliance ko pehli dafaa....kahin aap yeh to nahi soch rahe hain ke mujhe firang zaban nahi aati to maaf kijiyega main to apni lakhnawi tehzeeb ko sarmaay bana hua tha.

Attendance compliance was studied in first time outpatient attenders at an Indian psychiatric clinic. Compliance was positively associated with the patient's willing ness to attend the initial consultation, being given an early appointment time for the first follow up appointment, good work prognosis and informing the patient's accompanying relative of this good work prognosis. Factors associated with decreased compliance were telling the patient the expected duration of treatment and an illness duration of less than six months at the time of presentation. The results have implications for timing of the subsequent appointment, developing rapport with the patient and being circumspect about what the patient is told.